- I have a phobia of running out of toilet paper. Seriously.
- I got it from her:
- Her bathroom had what was basically a toiletry closet without a door and the whole thing was always full of toilet paper.
- You must not get it yet. From ceiling to floor and about 4 feet wide. ALL FULL OF TOILET PAPER.
- She was the most awesome old lady you'd ever meet. Hattie Lee--my great grandma.
- She sewed my great grandfather up in the sheets one time. She also shot him in the stomach. She was a boot-legger out of necessity. She used to watch for the mail man using binoculars. I'm pretty sure she wore a sweatshirt almost every day of my life. She used to "dance a jig" for me. She was a cat racist--she hated the black ones. I could go on forever. She was so cool.
- Back to my phobia, I keep at least 12 rolls of toilet paper in each bathroom at all times. Somehow, this week, I noticed that we were running low in our bathroom.
- I never made it to the store.
- Then, yesterday, I almost had a panic attack because we got down to two rolls--one on the holder and one in the basket.
- This morning I bought (with coupons!!!!) a twelve pack at Publix and breathed a sigh of relief.
- I think the phobia set in during my childhood when there was always only one roll of toilet paper being passed back and forth from the two bathrooms. I could never remember which bathroom had the toilet paper. Somehow, I always picked the one that didn't have any and would then have to scream for 5 minutes for someone to bring me some.
- I blame my parents.
- They totally should have moved always having toilet paper up higher on the priority list.
- I vowed that would NEVER happen in my house.
- I also have a phobia of running out of feminine products. We won't discuss this further.
- Not long after we got married, I got attacked by a spider.
- This is what resulted from that spider bite:
- It's pretty, huh?
- In less than a week, the Awesomes will be at our house. Be jealous.
- I used to be really skinny. You know...when I was in high school. Here's proof:
- I sure do miss those days.
- On Facebook, people keep posting those "5 things....blah, blah, blah."
- Yes, I know I'm one of them. MOVING ON....there is one that is the top 5 things other people seem to love that you hate. I could totally do this one.
- American Idol. Reese's cups. Coffee. Sienfeld.
- Hmmm....so many other's to choose from. I can't decide what to choose for my fifth one.
- That's why I posted it here and not on Facebook. Haha.
Happy Friday, Y'all!!!!
3 comments:
I feel like I need a nap after reading all of that!
And, I am thinking that maybe spider bites might smooth out the cellulite on my butt; we have plenty of wolf spiders running around, I might try to sit on a few in my bathing suit later...what do you think, worth it?
Man I grew up with a bazillion rolls of toliet paper and paper towels too...I know how you feel.
If your parents hadn't been working full time jobs, taking you to softball practice, basketball practice, cheerleading practice, football games, softball games, basketball games, gymnastics, dance class, numerous social activities, church, not to mention that you had a sister that did most of those things too, then we could have had shopping for toilet paper higher on our priority list. :)
Dear Carrie, now that I've seen your butt cheek/upper thigh, I feel very close to you.
Also, sorry for the weirdness that sentence just created.
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