Confessions from A-la-bam-uh

1. Last night I waited for two hours to get into the bathroom to take a shower. Sister was in there taking a nice long relaxing bath.
2. I love her but I do not miss those teen days of waiting/fighting for the shower.
3. What I do miss is the husband. He lets me go first. Always. And he keeps my feet warm in the bed.
   
4. Also, I miss the laminating machine.
   
5. I'm convinced the sign on my forehead is still there. I've been asked 4 times this week when I'm going to have another baby.
6. The PEDIATRICIAN asked. He obviously does not read my blog.
7. The Auburn friend asked. She obviously does not read my blog either. But I don't blame her. She just had a baby 3 weeks ago. Although really, that post was way before that so she should have read it. I'm just saying :)
8. The hair stylist asked.
   
9. The make-up lady asked.
   
10. I was tempted to beat a lady up this week. No, not the ones that asked me if I'm going to have another baby. A lady at the zoo. She used her kid to knock my kid down THREE times to see the giraffes. Woman. You're old. You've seen them before.
    
11. Don't worry. I restrained myself. Good thing too...she was feisty.
12. I'm concerned that I may be losing some of my southern-ness. Yesterday someone didn't hesitate to think I'm from Florida.
13. I still haven't seen the newest Harry Potter movie....it's been two whole days. I'm suffering on the inside.
    
14. Throughout the week, usually at night or when I'm in the shower, I come up with lists of these confessions to type.
    
15. Which is embarrassing enough. But then when it comes time to write these, I forget the ones I already came up with. Idiot.
    
16. I've been spending too much time reading Twitter lately because I'm starting to type things out to people with @ and someones user name. Even though I'm not on Twitter at the time.
    
17. Also, lots of those people aren't even on Twitter. So they don't have user names.
18. If you saw my hair right now, you'd be embarrassed for me. It's scandalous. I went to bed with it wet last night. In fact, I do that almost every night. Which is why my hair is almost always in a pony tail.
    
19. I called the husband a name this week. Wanna know what it was? Scankosaurus Rex. Yes. I said that. Out loud. And now I'm admitting it. On the internets. Wow I'm so cool. Except...not.
    
20. We need to leave here in less than 30 minutes and I'm still in my jammies. Haven't brushed my teeth. Or my hair. Shows you where my priorities are. Blogging is more important than looking like a scank. In public. Where people can see me. That's real lurve for your people.
    

Have an amazing weekend!!!! Don't forget to vote for what you want for post #100 as this is #99.

Wee-Hour Ponderings...

For some reason, often, late at night my thoughts consume me. I guess you could say that that particular time of day is when my brain enters writer mode.

Tonight, I can’t seem to sleep for various reasons. But one of them is because my heart has been burdened with the idea of what friendship really is. Not your basic definition of friendship, but more of the way the relationships work and how people view them differently.

You see…I’m a friends kind of person. My friends mean the world to me. They always have. I often will choose my friends over family, if that makes sense. My friends have always been important to me and when I have good friends in my life that is when I seem to thrive. But not everyone is like that. I know people who prefer boyfriends, or immediate family. People who aren’t quite as invested in friendships as I am because it isn’t as important to them. I have a difficult time understanding the way those people work because my friends mean SO much to me.

I have gone through phases of friendship in my life. Two of my friends I’ve been friends with since elementary school. We love each other I dare say more than sisters. It is a comfortable friendship. All secrets are exposed. There isn’t any of the tip-toeing around things. We are blunt and honest with each other. We can go months without talking and then, when we do, everything is as it has always been. In high school we were really close. Inseparable. I was astonished at how these relationships somehow maintained themselves through college, even though we were in different places and going through different things in our lives. We just fit. I chalked it up to “forever friendship.” Even after graduation and getting jobs, we were still close and made sure we saw each other whenever possible. But since Hubs and I moved so far away, things are a little different.

In college I made friends with an AMAZING group of girls. We were all in a freshman Bible study group together. Our freshman year of college was rocky for all of us with adjusting from high school to college, and break-ups, and even major family deaths. We formed a bond that I honestly think will be there forever. Our relationships were based on Christ and just good old fashioned girl fun. We had sleepovers. Dinner nights. Weekend movie-thons. The thing that interested me the most about this relationship is that as we got older, we all changed, yet somehow, stayed together. Some of us met our husbands; we all worked toward graduation with different goals. We were involved in different churches. I guess you could say we were just developing as people. All but three of us are married now (and might I add those three are having the times of their lives). Three of us have kids, one of us is expecting, one trying. We all live in different cities. Birmingham, Decatur, Auburn, Kentucky, Florida. We’re all over the place and we have all really changed from who we were when we first met. Yet somehow…still friends. Still making best efforts to get together whenever possible and to keep up with each other.

When I entered the workplace, Hubs and I were at a weird place in our lives. We were newlyweds. He was still in school (grad school). I was working. We lived in our comfortable little college town. I made some close friends that I worked with. One friend, I’d had most of my college classes with, and another, I don’t know how our paths never crossed while in school. The third was a sweet angel sent to us from Dothan. We bonded. We ate dinner together every Monday night. We kind of turned into a teacher clique. It was fun. It made the long hours bearable. And then…we moved. And they went on without me.

When we got to Florida, I was clinging to my old life. I called my teacher friends and some of my college friends, and even the high school girls. We texted. I longed to be lesson-planning with them. And then I got involved in a Mom’s group with a local church.

Over the past two years, the friends I have made from that Mom’s group have changed my life. But I’ve noticed that I’m back to being in friend-driven mode. And though we don’t try to be, I wonder if from the outside we look like a mommy clique. We support each other. We laugh. We have really stupid inside jokes.

I tell you all this because I’m wondering how these relationships translate in the grand scheme of things. I have no doubt that God placed these people in my life at those times because we needed each other. But I wonder…can you really be “forever friends?” Does distance really change friendships? At what point do you get so exhausted in maintaining these friendships do you just give up? Is that why “those other people” cling to family and spouses only so that they don’t have to hop from friendship phase to friendship phase?

I was thinking about how right now, my friends here have taken over that best friend slot. I LOVE them. More than I can tell you. But then I started wondering about what would happen if we ever move from here. Will we still be friends? Will they come visit? Will we come visit? Will I have to start all over AGAIN with new friends who don’t understand me and know how quirky and weird I am?

I don’t know the answers to any of these questions, and while I know that God will work it out, I guess I’ll just try to enjoy what I’ve got while I’ve got it. I love my friends—ALL my friends and hopefully, they know it.

We Need to Chat...

We do. We need to have a sit down, blogger to blog reader conversation. About how I am steadily approaching my 100th post. [Don't pee your pants, it hasn't happened yet]

In honor of this super awesome event, I want do do something special. I've come up with a few ideas. Giveaways? Lots of things about me you probably don't want to know? A blog PARTAY....like in real life.

Here's the thing. It's up to you to decide what happens. You see...there's a poll. Right above this (well ok, not if you are reading this from facebook or an RSS feed). You need to go to the poll. You need to vote. MAKE YOUR VOICE HEARD!

And also, this will reassure me that people actually read this stuff and are still interested. Go vote! Tell your friends to vote. Also, tell them to read and follow my blog. Also, get your granny on the computer and help her vote too. Wait. She might think I'm weird. Ok...scratch granny. Anyway, go to the real live blog (www.mommyfridaysheart.blogspot.com) and vote!!!!!!!!!

That's what Americans do, you know.

Friday with a Friday

Yep. That's right. It's time for Friday Confessions again. Woot woot. Please, try to contain your excitement.

1. Facebook. Does it make me uber cool or an uber dork that I've been on there since BEFORE we got married. Like...2004.
   
2. I'm reminded of that fact every time I log on and it is suggesting a friend that recently joined facebook and I think..."What freakin took you so long?"
   
3. Let's talk about that friend suggestion thing....Me's not a fan. I wish I could give it the thumbs down.
   
4. "You and Joe Smith both went to Auburn." SO DID THOUSANDS OF OTHER PEOPLE. Doesn't mean I know him. Or ever heard of him. Or want to be his friend.
   
5. Also, I really love it when it suggests I be friends with someone who went to my high school. Especially when that person graduated in the early 60's....you know...when my parents were barely in elementary school. Oh, oh, even better...when it suggests someone who currently goes there. Someone who thinks they are way cool because they are on facebook and they are in the 7th grade. HOW IN HEAVEN'S NAME AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THEM????
6. Also, the friend suggester really makes it difficult to delete someone. You do it. An hour later you have a friend request from deleted person because Mr. Suggester suggested you to them and they thought, "I thought I was friends with her. Oh well. Better friend her."
   
7. I often have conversations with friends and they mention something someone posted on facebook and my response is, "I didn't see that!!!!" And they say, "It was in my news feed."
8. I finally figured out why they saw it and I didn't. I have over 600 friends and so it takes me HOURS to go through the entire day of the news feed. I'm not sayin' I don't spend hours reading it....because I do, but still....
9. If you read this, you should be my friend on facebook. Then we could claim we are friends.
   
10. Let's move on. To Twitter.
    
11. Turns out...I'm a bad "tweeter" or Twitter user. Why you ask? Because I use it to update my facebook status and keep up with my trashy celebrity gossip.
    
12. Almost everyday Hubs and I have a conversation where he asks if I saw so-in-so's tweet and I say no. Then he says, "What do you even use it for???" Haha. Celebrity gossip. That's what.
    
13. I was up before Bow Baby today. There is something SERIOUSLY wrong with that.
    
14. I've decided my mirror is a LIAR because when I look in it, I don't look as chubby. And then I see a picture of myself.
    
15. Also, I look way more tan in my mirror. I like that. I like my tan. And yes, I know it's bad to be tan b/c I'll get cancer and whatever.
    
16. I did it the safe way...with SPF 70. So I don't feel guilty.
    
17. I just realized there are 17 of these. Sorry. That's kind of a lot.
    

Have a good weekend!!!! :)

An Apology and An Admisson

The Apology:

Last night, I was browsing through recent posts and re-read my swimsuit post. I cannot believe I posted that. I mean...I know I was thinking all those things, but honestly, it's hateful. And mean. EVERY woman has some kind of body issue, be it her weight, or her thighs, or her nose. Something. Women worry about what other people are thinking, either out loud (like me) or quietly to themselves. And no wonder they/we do. Because there are people like me out there judging us and then posting a blog about it.

Even if everything I posted was true and written in an attempt to be funny about what I was seeing, I shouldn't have posted it. I'm human. I think ugly thoughts about people, even though I shouldn't. I apologize to you, my readers, for letting you see the hateful side of me. Please forgive me and PLEASE don't let what I said make you more self-conscious.

One last thing though....please just do me a favor--don't go parading around on the beach mostly naked, no matter how good you look. Oh and one more...cover up your boobies. If not for your self-respect, for your husband's. They are his to look at, not everyone else's, no matter what society says.

Having said that, I have deleted the post in hopes that no one else will see what I wrote. Again, I apologize.

-------------------------------------------------


The Admission:

I am a dork. I am. I do dorky things like buy souvenir shirts on vacation. And wear them.

I overplan. I clean up toys as soon as Bow Baby stops playing with it, causing myself to spend entire days doing nothing but cleaning up toys. Or maybe that's because I'm compulsive.

I was dorky in elementary school. I was dorky in middle school. And while I did a relatively good job of hiding it, I was dorky in high school too.

I don't drink. I don't partay. I don't smoke. I wasn't in a sorority. I don't cuss, except for in my head and usually not on purpose.

I like to sit at home and watch shows aimed at the teenage girl crowd. I get excited about stupid things.

Often, I talk like a gangsta (with a southern accent, of course) to my husband, because it is fun. I do the running-man to New Kids on the Block music...that I STILL listen to.

I'm dorky. I know it. And I'm okay with that. You know why? Because that's who I am. That's who God made me and God doesn't make mistakes. The world may see me as dorky, but I have friends and family that love me just the same...and they know I'm dorky.

I've Been Impressed

If you know me, you know that I'm picky, controlling, anal, and well...cheap.

Recently I had the task of ordering baby shower invitations for my sister's shower. I wanted REALLY cute ones. I also wanted them to kind of match the shower colors/Tyler's room. Also, I didn't want to pay an arm and leg for each one.

So....I searched. And searched. And searched some more.

Maybe two years ago, a great friend of mine sent me a link to this stationary company. I looked. They had cute stuff. I filed it away in my bookmarks and moved on. Well, upon my recent searching, I came across it again.

Inviting You Designs. That's who they are. Or you can just call them the Pimp Masters of the Stationary World.

You see, they have AMAZINGLY cute stuff. And it's cheap. Really cheap. And high quality. And did I mention that it's cheap?

Don't believe me?

While I was searching for invitations, the cheapest price I could find was around $1.50 PER invitation and some of them I would have to print on my own. That's cool and all if you only need to buy 10. I needed 115. My new favorites sold me my invites for $1 per invite, printed, with a peel-n-stick envelope. Oh and printed them and had them to me in just a little over week. And they are in Birmingham. I'm in Florida. Be impressed.

Now if I were myself, reading this on someone else's blog, I'd be thinking, "They probably aren't really that cute." But they are. See?

You know you like it. Don't lie.

And the awesome thing is that they do all kinds of amazing stuff....address labels, note cards, Christmas cards, notepads, labels, etc.

And they can make you all that stuff and make it all matchy-matchy, which you know I kind of love.

Why am I endorsing them? Because they are amazing. And they impressed me....which is hard to do. And also, because they used to be teachers (CONNECTION) who wanted to stay at home with their babies (CONNECTION) and they are all artsy-fartsy like me. Plus, they're southern, and let's just be real...I love me some southern people. So go look. BUY.

LOVE THEM....and tell your friends.

Confessions from the Beach

• Actually, I'm not confessing from the beach. It's more like...confessing from across the street from the beach, in a tower, on the 9th floor, sitting on a cushy couch, watching Yo Gabba Gabba.
  
• "Don't. Don't. Don't bite your friends."
  
• I'm a pretty observant person. This week I've observed a few things I kind of wish I hadn't observed.
  
• For instance...200 lb. girl in a string bikini. Wow.
  
• It took all I had in me to not go ask her, "Did you not have a mirror????" And then I think...wow. I'm mean. Hateful. So I kept my mouth shut and tried to avert my eyes.
  
• Yesterday, while we were at the hot pools, which shouldn't have been hot, I saw a lady walk up with her hubs and two kids and the only thing I could think was, "Those are not mommy boobies."
  
• If you'd seen her, you'd agree. They were not mushy. Or lumpy. Or trying their dangedest to cling to her belly button.
  
• In fact, they were kissing her chin. And looked like inflated balloon boobies. She'd had work done.
  
• Now you're thinking that I must have studied her for an hour. Except I didn't. I noticed all that in about ten seconds.
  
• I've been using SPF 70 sunscreen all week to avoid being sunburned.
• Usually I'm stupid and don't put any sunscreen on....to spend the ENTIRE day at the beach. And then I wonder why I have a mild case of sun poisoning. Idiot.
  
• It's been working as I have nare a burn. But I think my skin is revolting and trying to make me feel like I'm burned.
  
• "There are eyes on my face, eyes on my face. Nose on my face, nose on my face. Mouth on my face, mouth on my face...."
• I stole a baby pool earlier this week.
  
• No seriously. Straight up snatched it off the beach. Someone had left it there. All by it's lonesome. And the Portofino staff people were going to throw it away. I asked. Then....I took it.
  
• Also, I have turned my child into a shoe and bow monster. This could cost us a lot of moolah in the future.
• Yesterday, I paid $10.75 for two smoothies. Two small smoothies. That were just fruit and ice. No yogurt. No combos of fruit.
  
• That's resort life for you.

My computer is burning my legs now. I must leave you. To put on my swimmy. And go sun myself some more.

HOLLA.