Last week I started my personal challenge to use the Sabbath to reflect on what God was doing in my life during the previous week.
Monday, Ansleigh had complete and total grossness in her diaper for the 11th day in a row. I finally broke down and called the doctor's office just to see if there was something else I should be doing. Triage nurse freaked out on me and told me she had to be seen as soon as possible. They got her an appointment for 4:15 so figuring since she was a "work in" I'd get there early to get her seen earlier. After an hour and a half of waiting, I was irritated and Ansleigh was screaming her brains out, you know, with all the other parents staring at me. Good times. Finally they called us back where I sat with her throwing fit after fit for 45 minutes. More good times. We saw a nurse practitioner who told me Ansleigh seemed to be having severe stomach cramps and likely had some kind of bacteria (the bad kind) in her stomach. She sent me home with a new, strict diet to put Ansleigh on and a stool sample kit. EVEN MORE fun times.
I was supposed to have cheerleading practice that day and ended up having to cancel it because I couldn't be there and be at the doctor's office at the same time. Plus, Anthony had a softball game. Two softball games to be specific. When I got back home, I was HOPING that he could stay home but he ended up going and told me if he could, he'd leave. I was SO stressed out from the doctor's office and from Ansleigh screaming at me all day that I was in tears when he left. He didn't want to leave me. He got to the ball park and everyone could tell he was freaking out and sweet, sweet Kristy came to the rescue. She came over to the house so that I could go buy all the things Ansleigh was supposed to be eating.
I am not a patient person and I do not know when to ask for help. Even when I need help and KNOW I need help, I can't bring myself to ask someone. The whole time I was gone rounding up all the stuff for Ansleigh, I felt SO guilty for Kristy having to stop what she was doing to come watch Ansleigh.
The lesson God was teaching me (aside from patience), is that it is perfectly fine to let other people help you. This was reinforced this morning in Sunday school. We were talking about how sometimes, by not letting someone help us, we are making them miss out on a blessing too and not letting them use their talents God gave them. Talk about humbling.
Tuesday I went running when Anthony got home. Well, let me rephrase that…I *tried* to run. For various different reasons, I haven't gone in over two weeks. I started having coughing attacks and could hardly breathe. I slowed down and was just briskly walking but even that didn't help. I even slowed down so that I was walking turtle speed and still was having trouble.
How can this be something God is using to teach me? Easy. Satan is very present in our lives, even in the mundane things, like honoring a commitment to exercise and keep our bodies healthy. By putting roadblock after roadblock in my way in the past few weeks to prevent me from doing what needed to be done, I was letting Satan win, and with each victory Satan had, my laziness started to creep back up into my lifestyle.
I have to keep the focus on God and find a way to make things work, even when there are roadblocks.
Wednesday was simply a day of rejoicing and praise! After getting her new diet in her system, she was a totally different child! She was back to herself and as happy as she could be. I think sometimes God just wants us to be still and be able to enjoy the positive things he gives us.
Thursday I was once again challenged at cheerleading practice. Again, I had SEVERAL kids out for various reasons, a few acceptable, although most of the reasons were just plain ridiculous. The kids were irritated that they had to be there when others didn't and wouldn't try. The routine is no where close to being competition ready and they compete March 7 (two weeks!!!!). What is even worse, I videoed the kids and showed it to them and they thought it looked good. I was so incredibly frustrated. I'm still frustrated. The closer we get to competition, the more anxious I get. I'm worried. I'm terrified.
God is sending me out of my comfort zone and Satan is really doing his best to push my buttons (which is not that easy to do) to see if I'll crack. I'm scared I will.
Friday was a day of accomplishment. I got A LOT done in the house. As silly as that seems, motivation can make a huge difference. We even went to Target, ate dinner, AND went to Best Buy without Ansleigh freaking out which is really saying something.
On the other hand, towards the end of this week, I was really sort of getting down. Sometimes my life seems so predictable and boring. By Friday I was really feeling the need to shake things up a little bit. God heard my heart's cry.
Saturday I had the BEST day I've had in quite some time. Everything about my day was different that my Saturdays usually are. I got to sleep late. I got dressed up and went to Katye's baby shower and spent some quality time with some amazing ladies. Then, I got to go grocery shopping with three of my best friends. It has been a LONG time since I have had a random trip to Walmart with several girlfriends. I came home for just a few hours and then left again for a night out with some other girlfriends, but not just any night out, a night at the Melting Pot. Cheese and chocolate. Mmmmm. I didn't get home until 12:30! I felt like such a kid again—like such a person, someone other than Mommy who spends her life sitting on the couch. It was amazing and a real blessing.
God taught me that sometimes it is important to do things for yourself and while Satan did try to make me feel guilty about it, I was blessed abundantly