Today after church, I should have brought Ansleigh home, fed her, and let her get a good nap (because I'm pretty sure she didn't take one in the nursery this morning) but I didn't. I didn't want to. I wanted to go eat with the Moore's and the Lepper's...so I did.
When we left from there, Ansleigh was tired and fussy and instead of going home like a good mother (one who puts her children first) would have done, I drove to the Melbourne Art Festival and walked Ansleigh around in the hot sun for about 3 hours with Carrie, Faith, Vanessa, & Grace.
I don't know that it really matters that I had a day of selfishness, but in a way, I have mixed emotions about it. I've been struggling so much lately to get back to who I really am (someone who once had some resemblance of a life) that I saw opportunities and took them--no matter what I should have been doing.
I wanted a day out. I wanted to spend time with friends. I wanted to feel like I live here and belong here. I, I, I....
Anthony spent the afternoon at the Riley's (with his friends) watching a race and I just wanted that too...except not racing. Ew.
The thing is, Ansleigh did GREAT! She giggled and smiled and was a real trooper. When we got home, she ate her dinner and took a three hour nap, took her last bottle, smiled, and went right back to sleep. No foul, no harm done.
I'd like to think that this is the last time my selfishness will take over, but will it really be? How many more times will I do what I want instead of what is more important for our family just because I want to?