Friendship

Lately, I’ve been reading the writings of John. This all started because I’ve never read Revelation before…it scares me and I’m afraid I just won’t understand. Anyway, I knew I needed to but I just couldn’t start there so I started with 1 John…he wrote Revelation anyway.

As I was reading 1 John 4, I read the verse, “No one has ever seen God, but if we love one another, God lives in us and His love is made complete in us” (verse 12). After reading this, I looked at the commentary (I was reading my Life Application Bible) and it said, “Some people enjoy being with others. They make friends with strangers easily and are always surrounded by many friends. Other people are shy or reserved. They have a few friends, but are uncomfortable talking with people they don’t know or mingling in crowds….John isn’t telling us how many people to love, but how much to love the people we already know. Our job is to love faithfully the people God has given us to love whether there are two or two hundred of them. If God sees that we are ready to love others, He will bring them to us.”

This got me to thinking. I know some people (mostly people from Alabama) see me as the first type of person…the one who is a social butterfly, but those people who REALLY know me know I am much more the second kind of person. I hate doing group things with people I don’t know. I always feel awkward and talk too much and often say inappropriate things or things people really just don’t want to know about me. People make me uncomfortable.

The part that really got to me though is the part I have bolded. When God sees we are ready to love others, He brings them to us! In my case, he brought me to them.

This time last year, I was in a very strange place. We had just moved hours and hours away from friends and family and I was pregnant and sick as can be! I stayed trapped in our house and barely communicated with anyone. I was desperately clinging to the friendships I had and honestly, was not interested in new ones.

I think God knew that when we first moved, I just wasn’t ready to let go of what was mine, what I loved so dearly. At the same time, many (not all) of the friends we had in Auburn, were not and still are not at the same place in their lives as we are now. Not that it needs to be said, but God is smart. So much smarter than me! I came here basically kicking and screaming and now, I don’t feel that way. I’m almost happy to be here.

As time progressed, God healed my heart and showed me the ones I still needed to hang on to, but more importantly, that I was ready to love again. God did a little “summer-fall-winter cleaning” in my heart to make room for some truly amazing ladies!

The definition (at least the one in my Bible) of a friend is, “intimate companion or associate; one attached to another by affection or esteem.”

Proverbs 13:20 says, “He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.” We ALL know that we have to choose our friends wisely. This case has been no different. God is still watching me exercise my free will by whom I am choosing as my friends. He put a variety of people in my life and all of them have something wonderful to offer. The commentary in my Bible says this, “Our friends and associates affect us, sometimes profoundly. Be careful who you choose as your closest friends. Spend time with people you want to be like—because you and your friends will surely grow to resemble each other.”

I want to be able to enjoy the good parts of all the people God has placed in my life, but I’m starting to realize that I need to be spending more time with some people, the ones I want to be like, and less time with others.

No matter where you live or what your age is, for women, gossiping is difficult to escape. So are negative attitudes. Have you ever noticed when you are around people who gossip or are just negative all the time, you tend to be that way too? Maybe you are better at it than me, but I have a HARD time avoiding this.

Proverbs 18:8 says, “The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man’s inmost parts.” Lately, I’ve been finding this so true! I hear something about someone else I know and then, it is all I can think about. It is becoming more and more difficult to form my own opinions about people when I’m constantly hearing things about everyone!

God is such a blessing though and has given me the wonderful gift of some Godly women to be around. James was right when he said, “Every good and perfect gift is from above...” There are a few people that I’ve really started paying close attention to, and no matter what I’ve heard others say about them, I have yet to hear something negative about anyone come out of their mouths!

When I was growing up, especially in high school, I thought what was important was the quantity of friends you have, not the quality of friendships. Boy was I wrong! We all need at least one true friend, one who sticks closer than a brother. I’ve was so blessed to have a few amazing girls who were that for me in high school, and then a few more in college. Since we’ve moved here, I’ve been praying for that “true” friend. The person you can call at 3 am when your contractions aren’t going away and your husband is at work. The person you can call and say, “I broke my tooth and can’t take the baby with me to the dentist. Help!?” The person who notices you weren’t at church and calls to check on you. The person(s) who send you the funniest flair that is perfect and they know and you know you can’t post it, but you appreciate it all the same!

God has revealed to me lately that I have a few of these relationships that are growing into “true” friendship and I am so grateful for that.

In the meantime, I have Him. :o)